I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Your cock deserves a montage
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
