He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
