To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize