You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
