I want to walk on stilts...naked
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize