Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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