we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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