So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
