is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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