My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
