Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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