i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize