does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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