Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
