the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
