just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
