thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize