my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
