when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize