Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
A+ Viking dick
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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