I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
