I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
