I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
