You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize