Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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