i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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