absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
