Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
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I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
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This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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