maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
