I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
