1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
