Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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