there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
