Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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