Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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