Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
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He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
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He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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