i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize