Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
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I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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