i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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