I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
