She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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