Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
