Umm I'm too high to move.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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