just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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