What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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