She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
