remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
