let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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