woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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