Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He did a backflip because drugs
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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