I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i wish my penis had a tongue
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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