Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
