I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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