I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize