Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Boobs speak an international language.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
