He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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