cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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