worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
