no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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