well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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